How the hell do I pronounce my name!?

Is it Jor-dan? Jor-den? Jor-dun?

is it Jor? or more like Gee-or

God.

Whatabout my last name? In Cantonese it is like LERNG. So in English it should be something like lerng with like a silentish r and g. Wtf. How did that turn into Leung? People keep trying to say Lee-ung. Or some people just say lung.

I wish my last name was something else. Like Chan. Or Lee.

But Leung looks pretty kickass.

It's just I have no idea how you pronounce it.

:(

And I have finally found the source.

I googled my blog's URL and I found out where those mysterious clicks are coming from.

http://schestowitz.com/UseNet/2008/May_2008_1/msg00372.html

There.

Things happen for a reason. *if you don't want to read the other posts because they're lame read this one cause it isn't*

I was being all cocky and confident on the math test then I get a 70% and 50%. I STFU and I now have a 93.2% average in Math. Then I get all cocky and said I was awesome and then I get a C for my Chemistry test.

What this means is God is telling me to stop being such an ass and focus on my schoolwork.

Thanks for the message I got it.

So this means I am no longer awesome. I will focus on my education and

dude I got a C in Chemistry and now my Chem teacher thinks I didn't hand in one of my projects so I get an instant F and now I'm riding a D average for my Chemistry.

That sucks so many balls.

I feel so sad. Even though I don't really have a D. But seeing my name next to a D is so sad. Actually this has happened before in Mandarin but that was Year 9 and that was just a silly year. Ms Chen kept giving us hardass dictations.

But yea. This C is a huge smack in the face for me. I get to stop thinking I'm mega smart and I get off my lazy ass and start studying.

And I still have to make like a real group of friends! The people here haven't known each other since last year. Most of them went to the same middle school and same elementary school and they've basically known each other for their whole lives.

It's crazy!

And now I actually have to start studying stuff and try and fit in socially. It all sucks big balls.

But yea. This actually sucks. I get to have a transitional period where the grades will actually affect which University I go to. They count the last 3 years and like maybe 4 (and I did fine in those Year 10 exams) and right now I have a fucking average of D in Chemistry (but I probably have like a B+) and none of the hard stuff has started yet. I suck balls at History (in my 3 years of History taking I have never gotten an A) and I must take like 4 years worth of history in 3 years and a summer.

It all really sucks. And I still don't have any like real friends. Which is ok for now so I can focus on my academics.

I am still hopeless at English. Although I write a lot of stuff in this blog, it is all informal and unless all the English writing exams are "write a fucking kickass blog post" I'm most likely going to end up with pretty shit grades.

I don't really have a problem with writing essays. I'm fine with write ups of stuff. But writing essays about books or poetry where you have to analyze and give your opinion is just fucking retarded. I hate those. I got a C for that A View From the Bridge essay.

I do not proof read my posts. Right now maybe someone stopped time and started typing stuff like I like eat bananas upside down and I would have no idea.

And the lesson here is... You do not just say "fuck that that's the way I am"

you say "screw it imma change it."

what have I gotten myself into. Now I have to proofread this shit I just wrote.

fine i'll do it.

Ok I just finished. I corrected 2 mistakes. I know this post is probably still all stupid and slang and informal but I don't care.

Ok I just got an email from my Chem teacher and he just asked me to resend the thing. So maybe he didn't get it the first time. Woohoo. I'm going to get my grade bumped up above that horrible D now.

Oh and also I broke my glasses. I stepped on them which marks the 3rd time I have broken them in 4 or 5 years. But it's fixable. It's just I don't know where to get it fixed.

You know if I end up getting into a good school like Stanford or something I will go back to this blog and be like

THIS IS THE POINT WHERE MY LIFE CHANGED.

And so will you because this blog has inspired you to study harder!

But you know what? This is going to be another one of those "Ok seriously I'm gonna work really hard now." It's so easy to say that. I bet all of you have said that. And you said that during like the holidays or something when you're not working. You need to take immediate action.

I learnt in this thing in English, if you see something happen and you don't act within the first 180 seconds of noticing, you're probably not going to do anything.

AKA you guys procrastinate which is what I've been starting to do a lot of lately. I get home from school, sometimes at 2, sometimes at 3. It's 4 o clock, I've opened the document with the homework on it and I still haven't done a thing.

It's amazing how I can just like zone out for an hour. None of you guys are online and I don't talk to anyone.

What the hell how is that possible.

And guys, if someone made a show out of me like Everybody Hates Chris and there's a laugh track on it (so you know when to laugh) it would be fucking awesome. I always think about it. There's always a moment where I'm like "if this was a TV show, it would be funny." but no one else laughs because no one understands how funny it is.

They need to make a reality tv show out of me. This would be Season 2: Jordan in America.

That would be badass shit you would all watch it.

But this blog is as close as you get.

Grades are so strange here

In general it is a 90% for an A, an 80% for a B and a 70% for a C. D is like 60%.

It's so ridiculous. I got a 75% so if I was in Hong Kong right now it'd be like aw man nearly an A!

Yea well good job I have a C!

DUDE THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS

I got 75% in my Geography test and I got an A.

ADGADALKGJAD

Man I am going to have to work super hard. I just realized my 93.2% (yes it is a .2 now) is JUST an A. 90% is A- for Math.

CRAP MAN

Holy Crap

I got a C in my Science test.

I am still awesome.

I am going to check my rankings again.

So I am 1 in better sense of humor

2 in studies harder...

Just because I am so intelligent and superior it doesn't mean I study hard. It just means I get it and you don't.

3 in a better smile!!

I don't smile a lot. Maybe that's what makes it so special. Maybe my smile is cute. And sexy. See I bet you're thinking of it now. :)

4 in Cooler

YES. I am cool. But recently I added this person who was even cooler than I was so I got bumped down to 4. You know what I bet since I added Jin he is fucking up my rankings.

Ok yes I should be 3rd in cooler. Turns out that person I added isn't as cool as me.

4 in Most Creative

What? When was I creative? I mean, if you look at this blog... it's just... plain. and white. and boring. But content-wise it is so good.

8th most popular

Stupid Jin keeps bumping me down. Also this person I added seems to be pretty awesome so I get bumped down 2 spots. :( But yea I am awesome.

8th most powerful?

Is this strength powerful or what. I'm not very strong. :(

9th rather get stuck in handcuffs with

Aw you guys just want to hold my hands.

9th most outgoing

which explains why I have so many friends here!!! Nah. Ok the truth. I have at least 2 or 3 (so that means at least 2) people I can talk to in every class.

9th can drink more

Yea dude one time when I was p6 or year 7 I was with bernice and nick at this party and then I like drank the whole gallon of Sprite or something.

OH. that. Yes. Ok. But alcohol makes me pee. a lot.

10th more useful

I know.

10th more entertaining

teehee

13th nicer

This is pretty cool. I never knew I was nice. Maybe it's recently I started turning more nice. Or not. I can't decide.

Oh dear 3 people said I was ugly.

For smarter someone said er.. ew?

Omg, he's so smart. ew!

and funnier someone said I was an ugly bastard

Omg. Russell Peters is so funny... ugly bastard.

WHAT that doesn't make sense.

I got 21 in sexier!! :D 8/10 people think I'm sexy. :D

and someone said ew to that.

Ok I got 9/18 in better taste in music that's dumb.

There is no 'better taste in music'

because that is subjective.

But good taste in music is diversity in music and being willing to explore different types of music. He/she does not just listen to what everyone else is listening to or just like some popular stuff. It's ok for an occassional Katy Perry though. She's awesome.

Right now I will just look through the leaders. Ok just some kinda popular-ish people.

That sucks.

Ok.

I give up. I think I got really bad for most cuddly. What the hell. I'm cuddly.

Why I am fucking awesome

Remember my 70% and 50% on my math placement tests and how the teacher was going to put me in a class with 9th graders?

well...

It turns out I'm still fucking awesome at Math and no one can come near me. Today I got 55/58 on the first actual math test and the only question I got wrong was this one where I forgot to make the - a + for like 2-(x-6) where you are supposed to make the negative inside the bracket a positive and it was multiple choice and they were worth 3 marks and it was an all or nothing type situation.

But basically, I am fucking awesome.

At math.

And I didn't revise. All I did was use that review sheet that was for homework and I actually skipped a few questions on it.

Now I have a 93.1% grade average. On all my tests I only got 1 question wrong except for the first one where I got 19/24 and I have a perfectly good excuse for that which is my schedule was slightly fucked up so I ended up going to the wrong class and that gay math teacher guy didn't cover some of that stuff.

So yea.

93.1% grade average is right.

And you know on facebook there is this thing called 'Compare People' and I am ranked highest in 'best sense of humor' which is like so damn true cause I am exceptionally funny so you have witnessed in my blog.

And the second one is 'most studious'

wtf?

Because during last year's exams, the only subject I revised was Science. And it wasn't even that much because the only stuff I revised were the things I knew so I can feel better about myself "oh yea I know density=mass/volume. damn i'm good"

Then I revised partially for Geography. I just got an A on that test so I'm fucking awesome.

Then I didn't really revise for any other subject.

I do not study. I really don't. I'm not saying this to sound like I'm a cool person who thinks it's uncool to study. I don't. It's boring. Where were the rest of you guys during the exams? I was on MSN all day.

And I didn't get much homework either.

Speaking of homework.

Fuck I have homework I have to do.

But I like posting on this blog because you can read about how cool I am.

School's a little better. I actually talk to people during all my classes and I hide in the computer rooms during lunchtime or do homework in the library. If you guys are ever up at 3am and want to have a chat I am your go to guy.

I talk to people in class. Really. At first I only have 1 guy I talk to but now I am expanding to at least 2 or 3 people in each class.

Yes. The computer room is a good hideout for Asian people. A lot of Koreans go there to watch their Korean dramas.

Speaking of dramas I'm gonna go be a pussy and watch 1 Litre of Tears because I heard it was very good and people in Hong Kong loved it so much.

OH SHIT NO I HAVE TO DO HOMEWORK FIRST.

Apples and Oranges

Recently I have been drinking a lot of orange juice. So I finally bought some Apple Juice. It tastes better.

Apple Juice is always sweet.

Orange Juice can be sour.

But when it comes to fruits it is slightly different.

Apples can be mushy. Mushy apples are really disgusting. Like super disgusting. I hate mushy apples.

Oranges are always just juicy so when you bite into it it's a bit like a drink. Yea it can be sour sometimes.

But I'd rather have a sour orange than a mushy apple.

Also apples get all yellowy and brown and nasty.

I have question.

If you got a piece of chicken and burned it in a vacuum would it turn into melted chicken? I know if you do it normally it burns but that's like the carbon in the air which oxidizes or something.

Mmm melted chicken.

Chicken gas!

I have been blogging a lot lately.

Because I have a lot of things to say and I have nothing to do.

I hate my iPod. It looks a lot better without the case but without the case it will get scratched so bad. I'm just worried about the back.

Whoppers

I think a while ago I made a post about how I despised Whoppers because Maltesers were superior.

Well I was wrong.

Strawberry Whoppers are the shit.

As in the good shit not the shit that comes out your butt.

My parents are so parent-y

My mom calls me like 2/3 times a day. Once in the morning, once after I come home from school and sometimes at night. My dad calls like once a day.

So in one day, I usually get like 4 different phone calls a day.

In these 4 phone calls, these are the type of questions that I'm asked

"How are you" - The answers is almost always FINE. or OK. If you ask someone how are you, you can almost always expect the answer to be fine.

"How's school?" - Mom, the last time you called me was last night. Right now it is the morning. I do not go to school in my sleep. Also, stop asking me this question everyday. There isn't a lot of stuff that happens at school each day.

"Did you eat yet?" - Does it matter? If I am starving will you cook me something and airmail it to me? Will you help me order Pizza hut?

"Is there a lot of homework?" - I think I've answered this one before. YES!

"Are you awake?" - No. I'm sleeptalking.

"Are you at home?" - No. I took the homephone outside home so that when you ask this question I can say no.

"Remember to wear more clothes!" - Sorry mom I will stop dressing like a skank.

But I understand this is all out of love and I love my mom and dad very much. :)

Man that sounded corny.

I am officially not the biggest nerd in my school

Not that I was ever really nerdy. Today I was in the Academics Center (room with Macs) and checking facebook and my email and stuff because I don't have anyone to talk to and there are no activities to do at lunchtime except for talk and eat lunch. So I'm checking facebook. (no i do not write blog stuff in the library because I do not want people to discover my blog!!!) and then this guy next to me logs on to fucking runescape.

Oh dear lord.

You're 15/16 and

WHAT

RUNESCAPE

unbelievable.

Facts about me #1

Because I'm bored as I drink this canned chicken noodle soup thing.

I will now reveal facts about me that you may or may not know.

I do not like a tomato on it's own. When it is cooked or made into something it is yummy. For example. A raw sliced tomato in a sandwich or tomato sauce or ketchup. But a raw whole tomato or a boiled tomato or a whatever tomato is nasty. The only plain tomato that I can kind of stand is grilled tomato.

I do not like strawberries on their own! But I love like smoothies with strawberry in it and strawberry milkshakes and ice creams and yogurts or whatever. Strawberry jam is good too. But a plain strawberry on its own? No...

I like sour cream on its own. I used to think it was weird but it tastes ok now with Nachos or whatever.

I like onions. A lot. Raw onions are ok if you put them in like a salad as it adds a bit of crunch and that weird raw oniony taste, but cooked onions are really yummy.

However I think sour cream and onion is the worst flavor of chips ever made in this world. Especially the Lays ones. The Pringles ones are quite nice but the Lays Sour Cream and onion has got to be the most foul tasting chip I have ever tasted.

Ya.

What the comments really mean

Because I was bored.

'pretty picture!' - you're not pretty/hot but the effects you added to it are nice.

'pretty<3' - you are not pretty but you kept posting pictures of yourself and no one comments on them so this person tries to be nice and says 'pretty<3', you then of course say thanks :)

'love it' - you're not hot but this person has to keep commenting on your photos everytime it changes just because she is your friend.

'stop being so pretty!!' - STOP POSTING SO MANY DAMN PICTURES OF YOURSELF!

'you guys are so pretty!' - your friend thinks you're a guy. No. It means one out of however many people there are in that photo look nice.

'i like your hair' - you're ugly. you're hair hasn't really changed but since your face is ugly and that person needs to comment on it since she is your friend she says this.

'nice boobs OR boobs alert OR boobies' - I noticed that you are flaunting your boobs on purpose because you are a slut and you know that your boobs are on display on this picture but you're using it to get a guys attention. The person who posted the picture now secretly hates the person that commented because the commenter pointed it out while the person who posted the picture 'didn't know' that her boobs were visible.

Either way, the boobs picture is still there until the girl gets over that guy.

'what program did you use?' - you enhanced the picture, bitch.

'i like your shirt!' - you ugly.

'i'm so jealous!!' - i commented on how hot you were, now comment on my photo bitch!

'where was this?' - you ugly. I really have no interest in where this photo was taken but man you ugly.

when no one comments - picture sucks. you're not pretty and you're not giving them anything to comment about. try again. next time wear a nice shirt so at least people can say 'i like your shirt'

when no one comments on like 10 photos - you are ugly/go lose weight

when you say 'thanks' - hahah yea bitch keep on commenting and tell me how hot i am!!

when you ignore them - you are pretending you didn't know how hot your friends tell you you are.

Top tip - Do not say "I look horrible here" because 90% of the time that's what you look like. The reason why you don't look as good as you think is because when you look in the mirror you automatically adjust your face so it looks better. That's the reason why you guys have to take the same photo 20 times before getting one you like.

Ooh a month in Americas

I think I've been in America for like a month now. Ooo.

Yea things are a little better now but like not as good as Hong Kong. It's cool that now I know at least 4 people read my blog. Or 5. or 6. They just don't comment.

HEHE

Anyway now I am sitting next to the super duper extremely pretty girl in chemistry. :D

Ok. Anyway I have to sleep now so I can wake up early to talk to you guys cause you guys like to talk to me. Thanks. :D

But yea everything is definitely a bit better now. So go me. I'm starting to make like a few more friends... Maybe in another month I won't be able to count all of them with my 10 fingers.

Guys you wouldn't understand ok it's not super easy not like when like Jessica came to school and then everybody was like ooh Jessica is new!!! then everyone adds her. IT'S NOT LIKE THAT OK!

Yea. But um... I guess this is all for now. Cause I'm kinda sleepy.

OH.

I am going to change 2 bad habits of mine because I saw people do it and I was like AWWW NASTY MAN!!! or um wtf...

1. Shaking my legs like a weirdo - I do it less now. But yea it is pretty nasty. This guy in my English class does it and our classroom is like this little standalone building on some of that foundation crap or whatever and the whole room just keeps shaking.

2. Mumbling! - There is this guy in my Math class who sits next to me and he's probably from Hong Kong (local) or like a localish international school guy (i'm actually guessing the latter now) but like it's not like I'm mean or anything but whenever he says something I can barely hear him.

So yea Imma stop those 2 things now. Go meee!!!!

Oh. In football today I scored a touchdown off this hardass catch. Then I made an interception but I didn't know what I was supposed to do so I just got tagged and then we used a down or whatever.

Football is a pretty fun game if there was like less contact.

HEHEHEHEHHE

bye.

I am a beast at football

Seriously man I'm so ownage I'm like the best passer touchdowner ever if like Peyton Manning is like a quarterback then I'd be like a 1back or like a 2back cause that's how much better I am than him.

Ok fine. But for someone who has been holding a football for less than a week I am pretty damn awesome. You should see how little my ball like flops side to side or whatever when it's in the air. I bet none of you can throw as well as Jordan. The PE Teacher should so put me in the football team as the quarterback so I can make some touchdowns. DAAAMN.

Jordan and the weird hacker

One of the weirdest things happened to me today. I was following one of the guys in Photography today and he had his little group and they went to find this hacker who was some short fat nerdy small kid sitting in the corner of the library with his laptop and all of a sudden they started paying him money or something and the nerd had like this 10 page Microsoft Word hacking scheme. Awkward moment. Good thing I had my sandwich to bail myself out I said I was starving and I needed to eat.

Me>iPod

I bought a 160GB iPod Classic and after a while I was like oh shit this is about time they release the new iPods. HA! Turns out the new iPod Classic is even worse than the one I have! It's like the middle between the 80 and the 120.

But still I win. I currently have the most practical iPod in the world. Take that!

Super hax

Yep.

Football

Today was the first time I played American Football in my life. Not a real football game but like catching and throwing like more than 2 times. I'm pro. I am the Michael Jordan of football. Which triggers a thought.

IMAGINE if

Michael Jordan never played basketball.

What if he was just like yo I'mma play baseball and he turns out to be a really crap baseball player (which he is) on the professional level. He would be like the Brian Scalabrine of baseball and people would make Michael Jordan jokes. So they'd be like "Yo I'm Derek Jeter!!" then someone would be like yea more like "Michael Jordan"

And in that 8 year span where he won 6 championships, just imagine Michael Jordan sitting in front of his couch in a small apartment with his children. He'd be like "Oh. Jazz won the championship."

HOW STRANGE IS THAT!?

There are probably like millions of undiscovered talents. Maybe you have one too. Maybe me. Maybe I was born to be the bestest football player ever but I was too busy trying to be good at basketball but in the end I'm just pretty average.

But now that I discovered all this it'll probably never happen.

Oh well there's always racewalking.

Answers

Seriously, like, you don't even have ONE friend? Like, not even in class?

I have one friend kinda. I'm his partner in PE. He's good at football but I don't think he's like good enough to be on the football team or he isn't bothered. I am talking to people more during class so it's ok. I talk to more people in History because I have history with freshmen and those people tend to be more open to talking to others. Or maybe it's just me.

Have you joined any clubs? No I don't know where they are.

What is the food like? Shit. I had it the first day. It was like reheated frozen pizza and chocolate milk. I paid $4.25 for it so I was like fuck this imma eat sandwich.

Some changes to my classes.

If any of you read about my classes, some of them changed. My Math and History classes switched around, which is fine. My new math teacher is like a hot math teacher (i know right?) and my History teacher is like some really old one. But she seems quite nice.

Ok nevermind I just got an email of that Summer math homework that I needed to do and she's like oh this needs to be done by Tuesday the very latest.

Fuck that.

But yea that Math teacher gives a lot of homework.

But she's hot ;)

Bahahahaha

Also I dropped Chinese and now I'm taking Foods. I need some certain like Foods credits or something in order to graduate so I need it. It's a very easy class from what I see. It's just like cooking and stuff. There was this cute girl in my Foods class that was like "If you put more ingredients... do you get more biscuits?"

AWWWWWW :D:D:D:D:D:D

Ok.

But yea time to do whatever Chemistry homework I was assigned. Cause obviously I have Chemistry tomorrow. I just finished this reading log that I was supposed to do.

And now I'm like doing homework and blogging and watching that Lindsay Lohan movie with 2 Lindsay Lohans in it.

Multitasking.

Bahahahhaha I'm a genius.

The Lindsay Lohan movie is cool.

Bye for now.

Don't forget to ask questions! :D

Questions and Answers

I will now be open to answering your questions so just leave a comment below with your question. I feel I must do this because I am bored and I need to interact with some of my buddies from Hong Kong. :D

Frequently Asked Questions

Do you have any friends?

No.

Any hot chicks?

Yes. Plenty.

Aww some people actually read my blog. :D

And I'm doing some stupid read log right now about a book where there's this black guy and people are racist and stuff.

Hi

I'm still alive. School's ok. It's just I get incredibly bored at lunchtime because I have no friends.

What a saddo.

So yea for the last 2 days for the first time in my life I just kinda sat myself in the corner or somewhere by myself and I ate lunch. I felt so stupid and lonely. :(

But yea you know some people have been that person sitting in the corner pretty much their whole lives. So I guess I learned a bit of a lesson there.

And like a lot of you guys said you would read my blog but it's only Chris. Kevin (Teng) wanted to read it as well but I made it private in case someone discovers it. But I found out how to hide my blog so people can't see it when they click my name in that photo blog.

:D

But yea. I'm starting to talk to people more in classes so it's getting better. It's just the lunchtimes which are like the least favorite part of my day.

Photo class is pretty boring. That's the class where I'm like the most alienated so far and I don't really get most of the stuff. But yea. I actually added one person today. This guy in my PE Class. I thought he would be the key to me to knowing more friends but he was like "This school sucks. I'm just gonna graduate and get out of here."

At least we had one thing in common! :P

I also get a shitload of math homework. The stuff isn't really hard cause I'm super smart and I understand it. :)

But yea I'm coming back Christmas. Bye guys.